Chuck Schumer’s Daily Checklist

• Wake up, lick lips and dart eyes back and forth
• Look for TV cameras that might be hidden in bedroom
• Lick lips 25 times in disappointment
• Dart eyes back and forth while eating breakfast
• Blame Bush for breakfast not tasting so good, lick lips
• When TV camera is found pointing at someone else, skitter and hop into the background of the shot
• Squeeze mouth into what the peasants would call a ‘smile’
• Blame Republicans for something 5-7 times
• Look for a different TV camera
• Dart eyes back and forth at noon, lick lips, then do it again
• Blame ‘Bush’ for 2-5 things
• Look for more TV cameras
• Dart eyes back and forth in the afternoon
• Practice that ‘smile’ thing in the mirror
• Smack lips
• Blame Republicans for 3-7 natural disasters in 3rd World countries
• Look for a large group of TV camera
• Lick Nancy Pelosi’s Lips
• Dart eyes back and forth in the evening
• During last TV Camera appearance of the day, accuse Republicans of being phony, beady eyed lip smackers
• Starbucks, for Hemp Infused Latte
• Lick lips while asleep
• Dream of licking Harry Reid’s eyes
• Dream of TV cameras

addthis_url=”; addthis_title=”; addthis_pub=’migulski’;

Leave a Reply